Olympic Figure Skating Scorecard

Ever wonder where in the world those wacky figure skating judges get their scores? Well, take a look at this authentic Olympic Figure Skating Scorecard and see for yourself!

COSTUME	3 points- Costume is reflective and sequined. Costume has skin-toned fabric covering up actual skin. +2 bonus points if skater has skin-toned ice skates that make him/her look like some sort of horse-footed blade walker. 2 points- Sequins are merely in geometric pattern and are not arranged as flower, snake, bowtie, or regular tie. 1 point- Actual skin showing in place of skin-toned fabric.
ATHLETICISM	3 points- Number of mid-air spins exceeds three. On ice twirls are so fast skater’s body gets the “rubber pencil” effect. Any number of flips. No falls. +2 bonus points if skater arranges for basketball hoops to be down, then has coach throw him/her a ball mid routine, and then either dunks, or makes a shot with eyes closed. 2 points- Number of mid-air spins exceeds two. Any number of high kicks. At least 10 consecutive push-ups part of routine. Fell. 1 point- Fell and then got up and just kept going as if we didn’t even notice and it wasn’t a huge deal.
GRACE	3 points- Footwork spells out Judges’ names on the ice. Music selection is in more than one judges’ iTunes library. Skater holds ice skate blade for over 2 seconds without drawing any blood. +2 bonus points if, while skating past area where opponent is sitting, skater holds nose, points to butt, or pretends to vomit. 2 points- Footwork spells out judges’ names on the ice, but later in the routine skater skates over the same patch of ice, literally crossing out judges’ names. Music selection boring or lame. Ugly face. 1 point- At end of routine, skater throws arms up in the air and smiles as if he/she has done a really good job. Why don’t we just wait and see what the judges have to say before we start celebrating.