What Should You Be For Halloween?

Scary Costumes  

Examples: Grim reaper, Zombie, Your future self stuck in the same dead-end job, with less hair, and apparently that rash didn’t just go away on it’s own. 

Pros: Satisfaction of being true to the Halloween spirit. It's fun scaring people.

Cons: When children run from you screaming you’ll feel accomplished, but the subconscious effect will be much less positive.

Sexy Costumes

Examples: Nurse, Fairy, Turtle Without Its Shell

Pros: Won’t get over heated in crowded bars. Also, attention!

Cons: Might get really cold. EMTs will take you less seriously when responding to your alcohol poisoning.

Word Play Costumes

Examples: Cereal killer (serial killer), Hot tea (hottie), A gift box with label reading, “To: Women  From: God” (annoying person)

Pros: People will call you clever!

Cons: You’ll struggle with your conscience at each and every compliment as you fail to tell people you didn’t think of the costume on your own, but rather Googled, “clever Halloween costumes.”

Your Own Regular Clothes Costumes

Examples: Average Joe, Commuter, Poor Sport

Pros: Easy, comfortable, inexpensive.

Cons: Chance you'll feel left out. People may withhold free drinks because they think you aren't really dressed up.

Obscure Costumes

Examples: 1987 Denver Nuggets third string point guard, The brother from Clarissa Explains it All, That guy from that dream you had once.

Pros: Feel superior to others for knowing more than them.

Cons: Waste a lot of time researching detailed info that will never be useful again. 

TV or Movie Character Costumes

Examples: Bart Simpson, Someone from Star Trek/Wars, You if you had applied yourself. 

Pros: Costumes are premade and easy to find, so all you have to do is go to the store the night before Halloween and shell out some money.  

Cons: Might get sued for character defamation because of eating all that Taco Bell in public while dressed as a celebrity.