Ways to Maximize Enjoyment of Your Lunch Break

While my favorite part of the workday is when I walk out the door at 5pm, my lunch break is a very close second. Lunch is a sacred time when you can relax, clear your mind, and pretend you’re not even at work. And while it may seem like whatever you do during your lunch break would be incredibly enjoyable in contrast to what you do before and after lunch, you cannot just rely on juxtaposition. Challenge yourself, put some effort in, and before you know it you’ll be having the best lunch breaks of your life.

There are several quick fixes to making your lunchtime all that it can be. Listen to your iPod, nap in your car, eat exclusively at a Baskin Robbins. But most importantly, get yourself out of the building. How can you clear your head and pretend you’re not at work, if you are still at work?

Leaving the building can be tricky. The halls of your workplace are lined with people desperate for socialization. They’re lonely, bored, and waiting to pounce. Keep your head down, avoid eye contact, and walk quickly. If you don’t, you risk getting sucked into conversation and spending up to 10 minutes of your break learning about the HR lady’s family reunion next weekend.

And what happens if a boring or hated coworker gets you in conversation and then nonchalantly asks, “Where are you going for lunch?” If you answer honestly, he is going to invite himself along. If you say you don’t know, he’s going to ask you to join him at some awful place of his choosing. It’s a delicate situation. I’ve found the best response is, “I’m going to the bank, to run errands.” Just saying “running errands” still welcomes company. But the bank is private and everybody knows that.

That’s not to say you have to eat lunch alone. Arrange for someone you like outside of work to meet up with you. Be warned, this approach has pitfalls. You probably have to ask unemployed friends to meet you because no one else is free in the middle of the day. Then at lunch, when you talk about your day and your unemployed friend talks about his day, you may go mad with jealousy. Worse yet, when you say you’re jealous your friend might not even be sympathetic. He’ll probably reply, “I don’t know, I’d love to have a job right now.” And then you’ll fly into a murderous rage— just in time to have to go back to work. So you have to stifle your emotions, return to work, and let your friend leave thinking he didn’t do anything wrong.

The best way to maximize enjoyment of your lunch break is to maximize your lunch break. Start by coming back 5 minutes late. If nobody notices, increase it to 10 minutes, then 15, and then level off. (20 minutes could be a fire-able offense, depending on company policy.)

Be sure to have your excuses lined up in case/when somebody notices your extra lunch minutes. Some excuses are better than others. Saying, “I lost track of time, sorry ” might keep you free from reprimand, but it doesn’t really leave you open to coming back late again. Saying something like, “I just had to use the bathroom real quick when I got back,” is an okay excuse, but not perfect. If you actually have to use the bathroom, you can’t then go right away without inviting suspicion. (Side note: Don’t go to the bathroom during lunch. That detracts from your break time and takes away an opportunity to miss some work. All bathroom breaks —real or fake— should be taken during working hours.)

A better excuse for returning tardy from lunch would be, “I left for lunch a bit late, so I figured it was reasonable to come back late too.” There’s no way anybody is going to remember what time you left for lunch. But the best excuse involves not admitting you were late at all. “I was helping Brian downstairs. He ran into me on my way back in and asked me to help him.” Whether or not someone named Brian works with you, that’s a pretty airtight alibi.

My last bit of advice is incredibly crucial. Never take a working-lunch. Claim you have a doctors appointment, say you’re meeting a client, run out of the room crying, anything! Just find a way to free yourself. Lunch is your time. Don’t let anything change that.