• Reading would allow you to contribute intelligently to conversations at a dinner or cocktail party. But, if you don’t watch enough TV, you won’t have as many pop culture references to make during conversations at a dinner or cocktail party.
• Reading would be intellectually stimulating. But you’d miss whatever show is on TV while you’re reading. What if somebody you like gets voted off American Idol? Or, what if that episode of Fresh Prince with the extra long introduction rap is on? Or, what if Look Who’s Talking Too is on?! That movie is so cute!
• Reading would allow for some quiet “me time.” But, turning the TV off and allowing silence to fill the house might remind you of just how alone you are.
• Reading would increase your vocabulary. But, you would be even more disappointed when TV stars don’t respond to your letters after you put in all those fancy new vocabulary words you worked so hard to understand.
• Reading is better for your eyes than staring at the TV all the time. But, watching TV is better for your skin. When watching TV you have literally no chance of getting a paper cut. Whereas reading requires you to touch books, which can be made of hundreds of sheets of paper, all with at least three sharp edges exposed and waiting for your supple fingers.
• Reading a lot could impress people. But, your friends will probably be threatened by your attempt to better yourself and they’ll most likely lash out. Then you won’t have friends or TV. Sounds like a real great life you’ve got set up there.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
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