New Rules For Old Board Game

Scrabble

If you can make your opponent too insecure to challenge your fake words, you’ve won the game. 

If a player is winning by more than 150 points, proper nouns and phrases will be accepted from all other players—given that those proper nouns and phrases insult the winning player. i.e. Mr. LuckyTiles, Captain Fatty, Guess Who Isn’t Invited To The Next Game Night.  

If you successfully trick players into thinking you have a blank tile when really you’ve just flipped over a regular tile, you’ve won the game. If the tile you flipped was a hard to play tile (Q, X, or Z) then the results of the 3 most pervious games (within the past 10 years) are altered to make you the winner. 

Blank tiles played may be challenged. However, if a challenge is incorrect, the challenger must trade in all their tiles and replace them with Q’s, X’s, and Z’s.

Monopoly

In order to speed the game up, players no longer take turns, but rather wrestle the dice away from each other and go at will. To really speed things up, dice from other board games may be incorporated, and more than one player can go at once. 

Instead of calculating how much an opponent owes you when they land on your property, you get 3 seconds to grab as much of their cash as possible. 

Whoever chooses the dog figurine as their game piece gets an addition $500 for being the best piece. 

Whoever chooses the iron figurine as their game piece gets an addition $100 in an effort to raise their self-esteem. At distribution, have the banker say something like: “Because you earned it!” or “This is the special prize for the prettiest girl.”

Chess

Instead of a game of logic and strategy this version of Chess becomes a game of creativity and artistry. Players use pieces to reenact either the royal wedding, an episode of Game of Thrones, or the Leonardo DiCaprio version of Romeo and Juliet. Players are allowed to venture outside of popular culture for their reenactment, but they risk alienating the audience. This is a dangerous move as winners are determined by audience applause.

Trivial Pursuit

Whoever throws this game out wins.