Hey Sally, thank you so much for the painting of me! It did wonders for myself esteem. Now, I’m gonna go make myself throw up that breakfast-in-bed because apparently I’m bigger than the house!
---
Kids, thank you so much for the fancy box of chocolates! I
have no problem sharing, so don’t even worry about asking. Just go ahead and grab
madly with your grubby little fingers as soon as I open the box. I’ll just have
whatever’s left when you’re done. I sure hope you leave me all the gross ones
with that weird tough vanilla fudge in the center! Oh, and thank you so much
for putting the ones you bit and didn’t like back in the box. More chocolate for mom!
---
What a great idea to go out to brunch for
mother’s day! Watching Katie roll her eyes at me and text her boyfriend
from a different breakfast table is just the kind of family fun that makes me
glad I married you and became a mom instead of moving to Paris with that art
teacher who said I had real talent.
And while I did genuinely enjoy the look in the waiter’s
eyes while he cleaned up Timmy’s spilt OJ for the second time, I’m not sure
it’s worth the amount of spit and pee he most likely put in our coffee.
---
Thanks for getting flowers delivered, Sean. Now I have
something pretty to look at. I’m glad
our bond is so deep that you noticed I liked looking at things.
And it must have taken you a whole two minutes to go online
and click the cheapest bouquet option! I really appreciate that because I know
it’s hard for you to find time for me in between playing video games and
drinking Robitussin for fun.