Life After Graduation

Upon graduating from college and moving to New York, I find myself quite unprepared for many aspects of semi-adulthood. I mean, I knew not having homework would rule. But apparently there’s more to self-sufficiency than that. To help illustrate my point, I’ve prepared excerpts of conversations from both my pre and post college days, and paired them side by side. Enjoy!

On Rest and Relaxation:
College Clara: “I was so tired from that awesome party last night, I totally slept through all my classes today!”
Present Clara: “I accidentally slept through business hours, so I couldn’t apply for a job today.”

On Diligence:
College Clara: “That class was so easy, I basically never went, barely studied for the exam, and guess what, l still got a B!”
Present Clara: “I think I didn’t get hired at that pizza place because I didn’t put enough effort into my cover letter.”

On Health:
College Clara: “I just signed up for student health insurance.”
Present Clara: “I just bought anti-bacterial soap.”

On Age:
College Clara: “Check out my fake ID! Sure looks real, huh?
Present Clara: “For lunch today I tried to say I was under 12 so I could eat for free at Fudruckers."

On Entertainment:
College Clara: “We didn’t feel like going to class, so we just stayed in and watched movies all day!”
Present Clara: “I just moved here and I don’t really know anybody yet, so I just stayed in and watched movies all day. Alone. With the lights off for some reason.”

On Food:
College Clara: “Guys, guys, check it out, I told that Dining Hall cashier that my cup is filled with water, but it’s really Sprite! Free Soda! High Five!”
Present Clara: “Today I realized I’m just that weird lady who steals Sprite from the neighborhood Chipotle.”

On Disturbance:
College Clara: “I can’t believe the R.A. gave us a hard time! I mean, these dorms are our home and we’re just trying to have a little fun. We aren’t even being that loud."
Present Clara: “I complained to the building manager that the 6 year old across the hall laughs and plays too loudly.”

On Interaction:
College Clara: “Sure is fun to be around all my friends constantly. Let’s stay young and happy forever. Especially happy.”
Present Clara: “Yes, I got an email! All right, Barnes and Noble coupons!!”

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